Funny Work Quotes - office workload effects

Are you tired of siting on office chair continuously, and working daily for more than 12 hours. Then you must read this blog post. Which explains real side effects of workload in office and due to which your life some time becomes very funny. Some of funny real incidents are shared. Enjoy them for a while and get back to your work( Load)  .....Lolz.

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 I once left home to go to the market wearing my ID card
 and did not realize till my friend asked me why I was wearing it !!!!

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 Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with
 keys.

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 Few days back I slept at 12:00 in the night and woke up in the morning
 at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 8 hours and
 laughed at myself when I realized that I am at home.

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 Just after our training completion in Mysore and posting to Pune,
 me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .
 And as I finished.. I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in
 my hand..
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 Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around.
 I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the status call?"
 _________________________________________________________

 I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc..
 at my personal internet connection at home...
 thinking it will be blocked any way.
 Till I realize - I am at home.
 ____________________________________________________________

 Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also.
 keeping hands in front of tap for waiting
 water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.
 I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap....
 ____________________________________________________________

 Once after talking to one of my friends
 I ended the conversation saying,
 " Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"
 ___________________________________________________________

 Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message
 from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin

 _______________________________________________________________

 I gave my office mail id and password to access Gmail and
 wondered when they became invalid???

 __________________________________________________________

 Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....
 pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg.....
 I replied 256mb....thank god he didn't notice.
 ____________________________________________________________

 Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching
 from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.
 _____________________________________________________________

  I, after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder,
 decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie,
 when I wanted to check the time,
 I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the theatre
 screen!

first rain poem wishes sms quotes english hindi marathi

All are waiting for monsoon , don't really no when is going to start but just take a look at this cool Marathi, Hindi & English  kavita/poem for pahila paus ( First RAIN ). Enjoy....monsoon 2011..

First rain poem
 
First rain reminds me of the rising summer  dust,

The rain doesn't remember the rain of yesteryear!
A year is a trained beast with no memories.
Soon you will again wear your harnesses,
Beautiful and embroidered, to hold
Sheer stockings: you
Mare and harnesser in one body.

The white panic of soft flesh
In the panic of a sudden vision
Of ancient saints

 - by Yehuda Amichai
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Morning Rain message
A slight rain comes, bathed in dawn light.
I hear it among treetop leaves before mist
Arrives. Soon it sprinkles the soil and,
Windblown, follows clouds away. Deepened

Colors grace thatch homes for a moment.
Flocks and herds of things wild glisten
Faintly. Then the scent of musk opens across
Half a mountain -- and lingers on past noon.
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पहिला पाऊस पडतो तेंव्हा

पहिला पाऊस पडतो तेंव्हा
पहिला पाऊस पडतो तेंव्हा
एकच काम करायचं...
हातातली कामं टाकुन देउन
पावसात जाऊन भिजायचं!

आपल्या अंगावर झेलून घ्यायच्या
कोसळणार्‍या धारा
श्वासांमध्ये भरून घ्यायचा
सळाळणारा वारा.....
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First rain quotes and wishes

Blue is song,Yellow is music,Green is beauty,Red is love,White is peace,Pink is joy.May all these colours fall on u with dis rain…

Funny rain SMS
Ye badal ye bijli sirf apke liye,ye hawa ye mausam sirf apkeliye,6 mahine bit gaye apko nahaye huwe -june-mainye barish sirf apke liye
Bundo se bana hua chota sa samandarLehro se bhigti choti si bastiChalo dhundhe barish me dosti ki yaden Hath me lekar 1 kagaz ki kashti…happy MONSOON

Rain Is A Wonderful Opportunity To Pray To Love To Care To Share To Enjoy & To Thank Allah For All His Blessings We Recive.. Wish U Happy Rainy Season.


The rain may cover the sun but we know that the sun never forgets to shine, just like you, I may not often see you But you always shine in my prays.

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marathi vinod - धमाल मराठी विनोद

Bf: मला  तुझे  "दात" खूप  आवडतात ...
GF: अय्यां...खरच ..का  रे ??
BF: कारण  "yellow " माझा  फेवरीट कलर आहे

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बंडू : बाबा मला काल रात्री एक स्वप्न पडलं,
त्यात माझा एक पाय चंद्रावर आणि एक पृथ्वीवर होता
बाबा : अशी स्वप्न बघत जाऊ नकोस
 ........... चड्डी फाटेल रे !!!

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 स्थळ-सदाशिव पेठेतील हॉटेल.
गृहस्थ-मी इथले स्वच्छतागृह वापरू शकतो का?
.
व्यवस्थापक-पैसे पडतील.
.
गृहस्थ-नाही! तेवढी काळजी घेईन मी...
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एके दिवशी काय झाले ?
 जखम म्हणाली bandage ला
चल आपण लग्न करून संसारात अटकु ..
जखम म्हणाली bandage ला
चल आपण लग्न करून संसारात अटकु ..

bandage म्हणाले नको रे बाबा,
तू सुकलीस तर मी कोणाला चिटकू.. :D

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बाई चिंटूला:तुमच्या घरात सगळ्यात लहान कोण आहे?
चिंटू: माझे बाबा ...!
बाई : का?
.
.
.
चिंटू : कारण ते अजुनही आई जवळ झोपतात ...!

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 FBचा कहर !
मुलगी-तुझे माझ्यावर प्रेम आहे ना ?
मुलगा - हो गं ! पण तू असे का विचारतेस एकदम ?
मुलगी- मला नाही वाटत असं.
मुलगा- अगं पण !असे का बोलतेस ?कालच तर आपण फ़िरायला गेलेलो,पिक्चर बघितला तेव्हा तर ठीक होतीस.हे काय मधेच ?
मुलगी- तुझे नक्की माझ्यावर प्रेम आहे ?
मुलगा -अर्थातच !
मुलगी - नक्की ?
मुलगा -अगं हो !
मुलगी- मग काल रात्री मी फ़ेसबुकवर जे स्टेटस टाकलेले त्याला 'लाईक' का नाही केलेस ? :P :D

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नवीनच लग्न झालेलं एक जोडप हनिमूनसाठी काठमांडूला जाण्यासाठी एअरपोर्टवर
बसलेल असत, एवढ्यात सांगण्यात येत कि काठमांडूला जाणारी सगळी विमान खराब
हवामानामुळे रद्ध करण्यात आली आहेत,

बायको : काय हो, आता कस जायचं काठमांडू?

नवरा : आता कसलं काठमांडू, आता इथेच कुठे तरी खाट मांडू.
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 प्रियकर (प्रेयसीला) : "दुनिया भुलाई मैने तेरे लिये" ... "जन्नत सजाई मैने तेरे लिये"
.
पर तुमने क्या किया मेरे लिये?
.
.
.
.प्रेयसी : "मुन्नी बदनाम हुई डार्लिंग तेरे लिये"
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जुली फणकारतच बॉसच्या केबिन बाहेर आली,

रिसेप्शनिस्ट : का ग? काय झाल?

जुली : बॉस ने विचारला " आज ऑफिस अवर्स नंतर फ्री आहेस का? मी म्हटल हो......
...
रिसेप्शनिस्ट : वॉव, मग?

जुली : कसलं वॉव आणि कसलं काय, हि ५० पान दिली टाइप करायला...


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 पहिला मुलगा : माझे बाबा एवढे उंच आहेत कि हात वर करून छताला लावतात
दुसरा मुलगा: माझे बाबा तर एवढे उंच आहेत कि हात वर करून विमानाला लावतात
तिसरा मुलगा : माझे बाबा पण खूप उंच आहेत पण ते असले चाळे करत नाहीत..
:)

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पत्नी : तू तुझ्या मित्रांना असं का सांगितलंस की, मी खूप चांगला स्वयंपाक
करते?

पती : तुझ्याशी लग्न करण्याचं काही तरी कारण त्यांना सांगायला हवं होतं ना!

daru dost quotes - Dost Nahi badalte

RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:

Maa : Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Papa : Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost : Chal Daaru Peete hain.

RESULT AGAR BURA HO:

Maa : Aag lage is mobile main.
Papa :Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Dost : Chal Daaru Peete hain.

BIRTHDAY PAR:

Maa : Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Papa : Hamesha aage badhe.
Dost : Chal Daaru Peete hain.


LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PAR:

Maa : Beta Bhool ja usko.
Papa : Mard ban.
Dost : Chal Daaru Peete hain.

Appraisal kam hua:

Maa: chalo agle saal acha hoga

Papa: Koi dusri naukri doondh lo, isse kuch nahi hoga

Dost: Chal Daaru Peete hain !!!!!........

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte... :D

computer programmer in film Sarfarosh

These interactions are between a DEVELOPER and technical architect. Comparing them with Sarfarosh movie's Inspector Salim and ACP Rathod.

Enjoy.....

ARCHITECT: Kaise ho DEVELOPER?
DEVELOPER: Thik hun Sir. Yeh document dene ke liye aaya thaa.

ARCHITECT: To tum is module pe kaam nahi karoge.

DEVELOPER: Nahi Sir

ARCHITECT: Aur yeh aapka faislaa hai.

DEVELOPER: Faislaa karney wala main kaun hotaa hun sir.
Faislaa to aap bade log kartein hain.
Ek javascript bug mere module mein nikal aataa hai, aur saarey project mein khusar pusar shuru ho jaati hai.
Aur mujhe us module se hataa diya jaataa hai.
Kyun. Kyun ke main DEVELOPER hun.
Aur aaj aapka project crash ho jaata hai, koi kuch nahi bol rahaa.
Kyun, kyun ke aap Technical ARCHITECT ho. Ek badi post pe hain. Aur kisi bade baap ke bête hain.

ARCHITECT: Technical ARCHITECT. Badaa baap. Aap jaante hain mere pitaaji ko.
Who mere pitaaji hain.
Puchhiye unsey main kaise banaa Technical ARCHITECT.
bataa nahi paayenge aapko. Barso se khaamosh hain.
Aur woh meri bhabhi hain. Tester hain. Puchhiye unse woh kaise bani Tester.
Humdardi ke liye kah rahaa hun. Lekin aap suniye.
Technical ARCHITECT banane ke liye, jee tod mehnat ki hai maine.
MBA ke liye chunaa gayaa thaa. Project Manager bankar aaraam ki jindagi guzaar saktaa thaa.
Lekin maine MCA chunaa. Kyun. Kyun ki har project bug free dekhnaa chaahtaa hun.
Aur main yeh aapse is liye nahi kah rahaa hun ke yeh mere module ka maamlaa hai. Nahi. Yeh mere project ka mamla hai.

DEVELOPER: mere project ka nahi hai?

ARCHITECT: shaayad nahi hai. Isi liye aap apni jimmedariyon se bhaag rahein hain.
Main is project ko apna project samajhtaa hun. Aur apnaa project bachaaney ke liye mujhe kisi DEVELOPER ki jarurat nahi hai.



Few days later:



ARCHITECT: Tum is module mein kya kar rahey ho DEVELOPER?

DEVELOPER: kyun? Koi paabandi hai?
Isi script ko dhundh rahey ho naa aap.
Nahi mili naa. Agar mil bhi gayee to kya hoga?
Aapko to bug fix karke chahiye naa?
Yeh li jiye. Mil jaayegaa aaj. Database mein.
Jaiye. Fix kar lijiye usko.

ARCHITECT: Ruko DEVELOPER. Meri baat suno.


DEVELOPER: aur kya sunayenge. Ab nahi sunugaa. De to diya aapko bug fix karkey. Aur kya chahiye. Jaaiye bachaaiye apne project ko. Ab meri kya jarurat hai.

ARCHITECT: jarurat hai DEVELOPER. Is project ko bachaaney ke liye mujhe ek nahi, 10 DEVELOPER ki jarurat hai.

DEVELOPER: 10 nahi sir, 10 hazaar milenge. Agar aap bharosaa karenge to.
Meri baat suniye Sir. Phir kabhi kisi DEVELOPER se mat kahnaa ye project uskaa apna project nahi.



ARCHITECT: nahi kahungaa, kabhi nahi kahungaa.


 

Presentation Skills - nice story must read

Women Friends chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

 Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is.